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Mar. 4th, 2008

suicide still hits home.

So i found out on Friday, that one of my friend's older brother comitted suicide. He was 21, and from what I've heard, he was an all around good and genuine person.

I feel like this still hurts me. Suicide is still such a hard thing for me to talk about and get over. I didn't even know him but I still can relate myself to the situation. 

I don't know why I am still like this.


For my therapist's weekely assignment, I have to decide that after a tragic event,  does the brain blur our things too painful to remember, or is the person in so much shock that they honestly cannot remember what happened

1. After I found out Angie had died, I can remember perfectly that Thursday night. Every event that happened I can explain in exact order. But Friday at school I have no idea about anytihng. I don't know how I got to school, or my classes, or even leaving, or what people said to me. I remember Friday night at the candle light vigil. Saturday was our winterformal dance. I slighly remember getting my hair/make-up/nails done, but I don't remember what it looked like other than the piuctures. I don't remember going out to eat, or even who I danced with. Sunday and Monday were the wake and funeral. And I still have no idea what happened. Absolutly none. 

So my assingment is to decide on whether i blocked them out on purpose, or if I really can;t remember them.

Oct. 10th, 2004

Friends Only!